There are two things anyone who knows me will tell you about me: 1. I'm a BIG introvert. 2. I'm a creature of habit. The combination of those two essential characteristics makes me not very enthusiastic about change.
Let's be honest, change is uncomfortable, messy and, more often than not, forces you have to deal with strangers. You don't have to be an introverted to-do lister to hate it, but it's especially annoying for someone like me. However, life doesn't seem to care that I enjoy planning and staying at home with my dirty, messy bun. It just keeps changing, no matter how hard I want it to stay the same.
In the last twelve years, my life went through countless small changes -- hairstyles, cars, clothing sizes -- and some big changes. I met and married my husband, moved into his house, adopted his two dogs and bunny, added a cat to our family. Changed professions three times, lost the bunny and one of the dogs, then moved again to a much smaller place with only a third of my possessions and got used to the apartment life.
Though all those changes were at one point or another uncomfortable and anxiety-inducing, looking back, it's undeniable that they changed me in more ways than the obvious ones. Going from the big house to the small one, taught me how to hold on only to the important things. Losing my furbabies taught me how to be more present with the ones I have left. Changing professions taught me to adapt to new realities and let go of ideas of how my life should be. Above all, marriage taught me to have patience and to see the best in people first.
Last year, hubs decided he was tired of city life and wanted to go back to a farm and the lifestyle he grew up with. A few months ago, I finished my third book and decided that instead of self-publishing again, I would try traditional publishing. Finally, a couple of weeks ago, our sweet little apartment was sold, and we moved to my parents' house while we look for the farm of our dreams.
BIG changes! SCARRY changes!
Over the last twelve years, changing and overcoming so much has made me a better person, a calmer person, and one who trusts the man I married and the grand scheme of things a lot more. I know that in the end, change is a good thing. I know that wherever hubs and I land will be home. I know that giving up self-publishing and my ghostwriting job to pursue traditional publishing will be worth it. And I know that as hard and exhausting as this season in life is, it'll pass, and I'll go back to planned days alone at home with introversion to my heart's content -- on a farm!
So, I'm choosing to look at all of this mess as an adventure that I get to go on with the love of my life while doing what I love. Kind of like Allie and Carl from Pixar's "Up!" I still hate change, I hate it with a passion, but I'm also excited about it this time.